End of year lists

Hello fans. It's that time again and I've decided to log in. Yes. Log in. It's been a bumper year in one way or another and although I've not been keeping everyone abreast with the latest goings on in and around the lifes and loves of a Pinedevil, I've signed in to let you know my lists.

So. List ahoy.

Top five albums of the year:

1. Filthy Dukes - Nonsense in the Dark

2. Fever Ray - Fever Ray

3. The Juan Maclean - The Future Will Come

4. Little Dragon - Machine Dreams

5. Wild Beasts - Two Dancers

(I've turned more this year to the sound of the synth. Unfortunately no hip hop has been worthy of the top five accolade this year.)

Top five tracks of the year:

1. Luisine - Two Dots (Pezzner remix)

2. La Roux - I'm Not Your Toy (Jack Beats remix)

3. The Juan Maclean - The Simple Life (Marcus Worgull remix)

4. The Horrors - Sea Within a Sea

5. Micachu - Golden Phone

(There really is too many to pick a top five, it's been tough and I should be getting back to real work.)

Top five films of the year:

1. (Without a shadow of a doubt) Synechode New York

2. Avatar

3. Erm...

(Can't think of any more, I just wanted to get on my soapbox and say that I LOVED Synechode New York... I didn't expect any film would have that much of an effect on me. (I started reading Carl Jung after watching it!))

Anyway... That enough blogging for me. Until next year suckers!

x

Just for you Jakie...

I'm back. Firewall problems abound. I'm not even going to give you a run down of what's been happening since April, suffice to say that I've been having fun and that life is good. I'm not even sure whether this will post through the firewall, but it's illegal here, apparently... BREAKIN' THE LAW!.. BREAKIN' THE LAW! So anyhow, for the last couple of weeks I've been using May's Mum's car as she's nicely lent it to us so we could drive it to Norfolk for May's recent birthday. (Her actual birthday evening was spent at the new Conran restaurant, Boundary in Shoreditch. May had fish, I had entrails. The wine was good.).. Norfolk was fun fun fun. The weather hung out for us to all go swimming, surfing, bike riding, blue grassing, seal watching and sailing.. Oh, and drinking. Trying to beat the clock for a last drink at the local before tidy-up time, we arrived with seconds to spare but gave up and tucked into warm wine we'd brought with us. That Thursday night was spent dancing, Zoe and Ian were like the he and she in Grease with May and I combing our hair behind them. I suppose a Sharks and Jets analogy might work here. The following day we woke and sped off top speed on various bikes. Within minutes we were lost and minutes after that May had a blowout and we had to leave poor ol' Hercules in a hedge and ride backy with the Carribean Dream (Honestly, what a name for a bike!)... We made it finally to the pub in Cley. We couldn't find the cider garden so we sat in the beer garden. Four pints of Aspalls later and we were driving (driving!?) to Wells where in the fog we found our way to the sea and to somebodys propped up surfboard. We had a good 20 minutes before the guy came back and demanded we get off it. One quick vinegar-swiping stop off at Cookies and we were soon shovelling shellfish into our hungry mouths. That evening was hilarious. Bearing in mind we had been drinking mostly all day, we managed to make it over to the village hall to see the local Bluegrass band. It didn't take us long before we were dosie-doe-ing with the locals. I've never sweated so much from swinging sixty year olds around! On our walk home, we get the phonecall from the gays who had driven from Newcastle to get there. They turn up refusing help with the heavy luggage in the back of the car, so we get in and open more wine. 20 minutes later there's a knock on the door and a surprise arrival from Helen who was hiding under the luggage all along! Cheeky Helen. As we'd assumed she couldn't make it and she had, we cracked open more wine to celebrate. Urgh. My head the following morning hurt. Luckily so did everyone elses. Plus it was raining so we didn't make it out until afternoon which was fine. We headed back to Wells beach after the rain had stopped to hang out on the sand dunes. Safe... Soon afterwards though we found ourselves going back to the same beer garden for some more cider. We weren't quite so wild though and only offended a few of the locals this time. That evening we decided to have a barbeque instead of eat more seafood. It was all nice and mellow and we chatted politely whilst waiting and waiting for the food to cook. After a cheeky burger we made it to the local, all the while being teased with tunes from Grease floating in from a neighbouring house. We'd presumed it was a wedding and tryed our luck. It turned out it was the poshest wedding in the world and of course they welcomed a bunch of scruffy pissed kids. Did they fuck. I barely even managed to smell the smoke of the top-hatted guy's cigar before being ushed out by the mother(fucker) of the bride. On the way back through the beer garden we befrended some posh kids and brought them back to the balcony for beers. After we'd run out we made local lad go back to his granny's house and pinch all the wine. It was late when we finally got to bed.. And I hurt the following day again. Three days of boozing hurts. I'm no spring chicken. That Sunday we managed to lever ourselves out and down to the harbour so we could board the boat to take up out to see the silly seals. So cool... So worth it. After a pork roast afterwards we were in the cars heading home. A good good weekend and a bad bad head because of it! Right Jake, I'll be more together now. Expect regular updates of my whereabouts every hour on the hour. I hope this thing fucking works through the Firewall now. I've been typing for fucking ages!

AV Suite

At last!... Over a year of pushing has finally paid off with the delivery of the Audio-Visual suite. What started off as a written proposal I'd included in the Pentland Dragon's Den last March materialized on Paddy's wagon. Look at him smiling there with £35,000 worth of kit. Look at his little face... I was tempted to rip the boxes open there and then, but I'm going to have to wait.

Lucky boy

As Simon's girlfriend Marisa started having mini contractions on Tuesday, I decided to create a sweepstake, each betting a pound on when the baby would be born... Ed picked correct and won the grand prize of £18. Not bad being as he's only been working here for three days!

I hope Simon and Marisa call their little boy Elvis. Elvis was one of two names Simon bandied about. The other one was Nelson after Horatio.

Sunday at Birdcage

I like it when people come over to visit, it gives us a chance to tidy up. After the mammoth movie marathon, the place was a like a smackden. It's actually very therapeutic to clean and pretty lovely to have the flat back to it's stunning self. We'd just put away the rubber gloves when Jake and Jodie popped over to visit. It's good to see them, they only live down the road so they drove over after some confusion with the clocks going forward.

After a quick shuftie around, we headed over to the Birdcage for some afternoon pints and a well deserved pub roast. Looking out the window we could see what Jodie described as 'public theatre'... Some driver tried overtaking a bus without looking and pranged his BMW bumper. He wasn't going too quick and neither was the bus. We didn't think much of it there things happen all the time. An hour later there were about 30 firemen cutting the roof off the car and dragging him out. I'm not too sure the guy expected that level of treatment when he greedily lied to the police for the insurance scam.

Jake and Jodie stayed for a while but left May and I to leisurely walk back in the sunshine. Lovely.

Farewells and Film Marathons

Friday after work was a corker. The little milkmaid, Chloe finally picked up her milk buckets and said goodbye to Pentland.  A good turn out at the Dignity saw her off in as much style as the Dignity could muster. Obviously the shady Finchley regulars were shrugged off before we headed off to Camden. Before hitting Proud, May and I had a cheeky drink at The Mixer. There really are some fucking odd characters in that boozer. I've never really been sure that I even like the pub. This time around there was a deaf midget goth with shocking pink hair SHOUTING at some thick shit kid about what school she went to. We drank up and left after one pint. Proud was fun though, we caught up with everyone else and before we knew it we were slammin' and shootin' with the kids. TAXI!

The following day May and I were feeling rather hungover. It was a good night, but it wasn't worth feeling THAT bad. Urgh. We decided though to treat ourselves to an entirely self-indulgent day. It was brilliant actually, we broke out the sofabed and watched film after film after film after film... and ordered pizzas. May and I are into our bleak films and today was no exception. We moved from Bully to Happiness through The Constant Gardener to the much-needed fluff of The Commitments. Okay, lazy!

Dressed up for dinner

There was nothing in the fridge so May and myself decided to get REALLY dressed up and go out to the Three Crowns for a bite to eat. I wore a suit and May looked rather impressive in her LBD. I tell you what, people take you more seriously when you dress right up. I should have used my lofty social status to tell the waitress to back down and shut the fuck up. I hate over-familiar waitresses and she was THE WORST. If you're spending money, you expect a little bit of polite chatter, not some joker trying to make you laugh. However, the food was delicious. I had the steak and May had the Fillet-O-Fish... Naturellement.

Na'er cast a clout

Na'er cast a clout 'til May is out they say... What a load of crap, it was such lovely weather all weekend. It was almost balmy on Saturday, it gives you a real taste of summer. God knows we need it. I've not seen any sun since Colin's Ibizan stag do and pre-credit crunch, that seems a LONG time ago. Hanging out on Islington Green instead of life-drawing, I saw some stupid individuals in their Birkenstocks and Havaianas, cadaverous toes poking through like worms through topsoil. Urgh... In fact it was possibly a good thing we decided against life-drawing because it turned out that Jess was modelling! *chortle*... It would probably be a little awkward when I saw her at work on Monday after drawing her little bee stings!

Anyway, we hung out on the green and drew the people around us until it was time to wander around the antiques market, the shops and the Sainsburys to get ingredients for the Sunday's lasagne...

... Which went down a treat. May's mum, dad and brother came over for Mother's day loaded with various treats and surprises for the house. We now have an antique Turkish rug in the living room, a full herb garden on the balcony and also the inclination to go garden now we know what we're doing! ... Roll on REAL summer!

Dimsum and Chieftown

Friday night was fun, May and I had time after work to go shopping for a Mother's Day present, go out for Dim Sum and see a band!... All that with only having two bottles of beer. The dimsum was excellent, apart from the fact that we were the only people in the upstairs part of the restaurant which meant that the waiters standing around were too attentive and would come over to take away a dish as soon as the last dimsum had been chopsticked into our gaping mouths.

The band was okay. Chieftown. We were walking back through Soho on our way back to catch the tube when from one of the crowds outside one of the pubs, a little smiling face greeted us. It was Patch, a geordie friend of Mays. He did a good job convincing us to do 'the dreaded turn' in the road and back on ourselves to Bar Rhumba, that old bar of yesteryear which now temporarily houses pub/indie bands of questionable calibre. 

After the two bottles of beer we squeezed through the 'crowd' of Chieftown fans and headed home.

Penis Pie...

Wallop!... As promised, here is a picture of the steak and ale puff pastry penis pie. Check the time out: Twenty to ten. That's PM! How rock is that?... It's just how we roll in N16, I'm afraid.

(I think a haircut is beckoning.)

Red Hand Few

So last night after work I went to meet Jamie, Antony, Ben, Jerry and Davros at Marketplace in town. (I hate that place, Jamie loves it though. I think it's because after a certain amount of drinks, the office girls turn into one amorphous blob which he can gawp at.) Anyway, It had been a while though and it was brilliant to see their little faces again. Davros had grown a furry flattop and Jamie had put some weight on his chin just for the occasion. We chuckled at old times over a few pints and caught up with each other before I waddled over to the O-Bar to meet May who'd been out boozin' with Ian. The 'retail kids' had left by the time I arrived and so I found the two of them giggling with a couple of empty wine bottles strewn around them.

Spooky

See the spooky spire in the spooky cemetery.... I didn't realise this was on our doorstep. Shame really as it's an absolutely fascinating cemetery but now frequented by ugly gay old men and tramps all looking for some 'me time'.

I think the Vicorians just buried their dead there and then forgot about the place. Abney Park remains a wonder, I wouldn't like to be caught there after dark.

Entertaining...

It's amazing how a week flew by without a single post. My idea was to write something everyday, but I realise that I just don't have the time or the inclination to just drivel away. A short catch up is of order, let me run you through the hustle and indeed the bustle of living in an urban connurbation.

Friday was a right laugh. I was looking forward to showing off the new pad off to the public and although Ian broke the seal, it was really Helen and Matt who took the prize. We shifted all the clutter from the desk and turned it into an actual proper dinner table, where I served a steak and guinness pie I had been cooking for two days!... Obviously it was amazing and I even jujjed it up with a comedy puff pastry penis on the pie crust. We were all talking about it, laughing, you know. and I was carried shoulder high around Stoke Newington for a good couple of hours afterwards. In reality it went down well and we got pissed on wine. Matt and Helen had brought a couple of bottles as well as profiteroles for afters... Which meant that the bread and butter pudding I had lovingly crafted from M&S needed to be eaten on Saturday morning for breakfast.

After breakfast Matt and Helen shuffled off, only to be replaced by Fal and Rach who May entertained all day whilst I stayed in watching films feeling a little delicate. By all accounts it was a lovely day and May took the girls to Clissold Park, the epicentre of all things smugly Stoke Newington. When they returned I levered myself off the sofa and out to get ingredients for dinner which according to Fal, was a 'lush' spaghetti bolognese. They tucked into the vodka before going out to the late licence Brazilian bar. I stayed in watching a documentary about Keith Moon.

On Sunday, May and myself had a small window of time to get some 'picky nibbles' (I hate those words!) from Whole Foods on Church Street, walk to the park and around the spooky cemetary before Ian came over to put the icing on the cake of a good weekend's entertainment.

A very lifty weekend

No rest for the wicked they say. No rest for the helpful either... Sometimes the guy who can't say no hurts in other ways, this time around it's not a hangover. Johnny Herbert came in his hire van quick smart Saturday morning, I suppose it's my just desserts for roping him in to help lift some of MY boxes three weeks ago.

Stopping off for the mandatory McDonalds en route (on Macdonalds Road!) we were soon over at his place. I'd never been there before, but heard all about it from people who had. It was as tiny as people had commented and didn't let me down. It wasn't quite a bedsit, he couldn't sit on his bed, watching telly and cooking beans. He had a mezzanine bed above the kitchenette, the toilet/wetroom beside that, and down the metal ladder, the living space. I think he'll be happier in his new place, it's bigger, brighter and all together a whole new kettle for his fish.

That evening May and I experimented with buses to take us to Angel and over to the cinema to see Slumdog Millionaire. I thought it was well deserved of  it's oscars and the trickle of tears down my cheeks... I always cry at films. Quite embarrassingly I even shed a few whilst watching Ratatouille a couple of months ago!  Strange though as I'm not a blubber normally.

Anyhow, On Sunday I met up with Herbert again as he needed my help lifting and I needed a lift to Ikea. We were wandering around the showroom together like a couple of gays. More embarrassing than crying at a Disney film! May was getting frazzled so I came home and helped her Photoshop and Illustrator as we chuckled though Come Dine With Me.

A very lifty weekend, I ache today.

(By the way, the photo is of the Ting Tings tickets I was given on Friday. No-one wanted them, so I left them on the table at the Dignity.)

Doctors Orders

I've just finished the new Doctors Orders flyer for Rod the hip-hop sod. It was all quite rushed as these things often are, and this particular design found me finally powering down at 1am. I really should start these things sooner, but as I've said... Who does their homework the day it's set? No-one. I'm doing mine on the bus on the way to school.

Also check out the number. 28!... I've been doing these things for over three years, I should have some sort of retrospective. If I can only find the artwork!

Sushi with friends

After a busy weekend, May and myself were flagging slightly and also relatively fearful of a pre-planned evening out with a Whatley, catching up with Martin and Sandra who are over from Toronto for a few days. As it didn't need to get massively boozy, I did the decent thing and booked Asakusa in Mornington Crescent. It took us out of the pub and into the best sushi restaurant I know of. I'm happy we got a seat as that place is normally packed. You can imagine the look on Whatley's face when his teriyaki beef finally arrived. He'd already had a few pints and was starving hungry. We'd previously met in the pub round the corner, when Whatley presented himself I was killing time with a sukuko or two. It took a second, Whatley looked around noticed I was on my own and did 'The Laugh'. I'd not heard it for a while and it was warmly welcomed. Martin's fragile stomach dictated their late arrival, we said our hellos and all walked the short distance to sushi heaven. We ate and drank well, possibly making more noise than necessary for a Monday night, possibly pissing off the other punters in the process. Hey ho, Martin and Sandra are a lovely couple, as ever it was brilliant to catch up.

The 253 took myself and the by now snoozy May from directly outside the restaurant back to our door to rest easy. Easy.

School fun!

Saturday was brilliant. May and I travelled over to the Little house on Friday in preparation for Mick's birthday and what will be the only family party of the year. As this was the case, Mum went all out and on Saturday morning we found ourselves in the Littlehouse School of Excellence where we were expected to have completed our homework for assembly at 11am!

The day was planned and executed with aplomb. At one point, mum and Kyleigh changed out of their headmistress and geeky schoolkid outfits to assume the guise of Beryl and Ethel, the rather dim-witted and big-busted west-country dinnerladies. They served us up traditional, slightly overcooked school dinners, you can imagine every mouthful.

After dinner and after the graduation ceremony, the volume knob was turned up to 11 and we were invited to the school disco. Just what you need after several glasses of bubbly! The lights of the assembly hall were swapped for disco lights and we danced and sang along to everything from the fifties to the nineties. From Johnny B. Goode to Saturday Night by Whigfield. We collapsed early which is rare for a family party, maybe we'd worn ourselves out with all that homework!

One one the best, and definitely one for the family album! Good work!

Maggage

It's been all quiet on the blog front recently, it's not that there's no news to report, I've just been a lazy bastard. I've realised that if I don't tap in now, the details will be lost in the annuls of time like spaghetti slipping through the holes in a colander, I've just got to pick up that slithery memory before it slips down the plughole for ever.

So, last Thursday I went out with Maggie as I've not seen her for ages and a catch-up was long overdue. She's doing well for herself and as ever she amazed me with a couple of quiet bolts from the blue. It turns out she's recently been directing and rather than get into it through promo-work and short film, she's been producing for ages and now worked her way up to the heady height of director for various Coke commercials, one of which is taking her to New Zealand for a couple of weeks, a brief breather before she moves out there on a more permanent basis in September where she will concentrate on Pavlova - The Movie.

After the quick Vietnamese and some bring-your-own, Maggie had to head off and as I was in the area, met up with Nick of Debilitators fame. We played some pool, chatted band, watched some shit or other and then I came home later than expected.

You've been framed

A welcome break was well overdue after a week deprived of sleep. May and myself just took our time settling in to Westbank, lovely. All boxes were unpacked, all contents dispersed or thrown out after being vetted by May... "Erm... What's this and do we really need it?" I must admit, it's looking amazing, with the lamb slow-roasting in the oven we were able to spend the Sunday framing, hanging and dotting our interesting ornaments and oddments around the place before Ian came to visit. If you don't count the movers and lifters, he was our first visitor and the person designated to break in the sofabed we bought last week. I didn't get chance to get a full blown report, but worryingly he told us he'd felt a bit tom and dick in the middle of the night. I hope he's not allergic to Ikea furniture... Maybe it was the Chicken Cottage Dixieburger he'd had before he arrived!

Tom's leaving drinks

After work May and I managed to squeeze in platefuls of sashimi, edamame beans and endless bowlfuls of Miso at Yo! in Farringdon before Snakey Jake came to join us for some chicken. You just don't go to a sushi restaurant and order the chicken, but then again Jake's always liked to pop the bubble of convention. After hearing about Jake's bid to give up all vices after a trip to Bupa left him holistically cleansed, we cut to the Three Kings in Clerkenwell for Tom's leaving drinks.

Tom's off to LA on Friday after having an epiphany and heading over there to hook up with JD Powell and the rest of the scriptwriting crew. He'll be staying in Silverlake for a couple of months basically to see what happens. I must admit, I'm kind of jealous of him as I know he'll have a brilliant time. It's good to be impulsive and spontaneous, it kind of keeps the soul young. Anyway, after the third pint, I'd realised I'd left my bag in Yo! Sushi, May and I said our farewells and went back to pick it up. Luckily it was still under the table we'd sat at!

Late of the Pier

After work we all tumbled down to Kentish Town Kentish Town yeah. We had a tipple in the Junction and listened to Colin update us on the trials and tribulations of Luton living before a pint in Pineapple... and maybe one or two in the Bull and Gate before finally heading into the Forum for Late of the Pier... Who were actually pretty good. I was amazed as I thought they were just one of those bands who had stumbled into a decent producer and magic'd up a winner album, as it happened they pulled it off.. and as it happened, we were the OLDEST people in the crowd. Serves us right for getting tickets for some bloody nu-rave band, we should have known. At one point, some kids came up to us and asked us whether we had any pills, I asked them whether we looked like drug dealers and they said yes!... We were still wearing our jackets and loitering at the bar, so I guess we looked shady. I didn't hang out at the bar all night, I jumped up and down for a while before I couldn't compete any more and left them to it.

I don't feel too clever today, mind.

Sofa so good!

By Friday night I had packed up everything I own and moved it into the living room, that evening I found myself sitting on a bare mattress on the floor watching a portable tv on the floor and eating a tin of cold ravioli out of the tin... You'll be pleased to know that 24 hours later my circumstances had changed considerably!

I picked up the van and a hungover Jonny Herbert by midday and we hotfooted it back to Commercial Road to pick up May the bag lady. We had a close scrape at McDonalds before heading back to Bethnal to pick up the first of my stuff. It was a long day and even though Herbert was a Godsend, the McSlump really affected him and he was drifting in and out of consciousness all afternoon. May's mum and dad turned up for the 'bed swap' and a spot of fish pie which was ace. I'm pretty sure May's mum is enjoying us moving in just as much as we are!

After everyone had left and I'd driven into town to drop off the now catatonic Herbert, May and I had a lovely bubbly ending to the most exciting Valentine's days I've ever had.

The following morning, as I still had the van, Ikea's bright lights beckoned us over to the heady heights of Edmonton. This time we didn't have any help, which made the upgrade from tired looking existing futon to brand new sofabed even more of a challenge... But nothing we couldn't handle. After a few huffs and puffs, the wrapping was off and Reading Corner™ was looking the bollocks.

Notice how I strike a marked resemblance to Dave from Chas 'n' Dave after finding a flat cap in a box!

Lacoste Animations

Phew!... I've finally finished the Lacoste animations, with a little help from Whatley and Simon. We've been working pretty hard to get these finished but it's been mightily enjoyable getting back to drawing kooky pictures and making them move. I'm hoping now that everyone at work will now see these, prick up their ears and start thinking about tackling briefs with motion graphics as well as traditional media. I had my review on Thursday with my boss, which went really well but I still could do with more from management to get the most out of my rich and varied skillset. (I'm not boasting, honest.) Anyway... Here are the links to the files.

Africa

Japan

Melanesia

New York

Count Duku

Today has to be a good day. I completed all three sudokus in the Metro on my way to work this morning. Easy, Moderate and Challenging... I breezed it.

If I manage to read the interesting parts of the newspaper before Kings Cross, I can usually complete the Challenging puzzle, but I looked up after completing it and I was at Tufnell Park, which was pretty good by my standards, so I cracked on with Moderate which I finished at Highgate. I finally put my tip and strip sexy pen down at Finchley Central after whizzing through the Easy 'duko.

The God's are looking down.

Sister sledge

Another good weekend... Wow, I'm starting to see a pattern emerging and I like the smell of it. This weekend was another life-draw-ey weekend, but this time we had to travel to May's mum's house for it. It was grand... and endulgent. We had a luxurious four hours to draw the most ginger-ey woman I have ever seen. The last pose was a mammoth hour and a half, and ol' gingerflange fell asleep halfway through it. I managed to pull off a winner doodle of which I was carried shoulder high around Long Buckby for... But not until after we'd pissed about in the snow for a good couple of hours, sledging about, you know! I even managed to get three inches of icey cold water into my wellies for good measure. Previously I'd watched Bear Grylls surviving in arctic conditions, so I was well prepared and luckily didn't die on my way back to the house.

Kate is getting just as excited as we are about moving in, and has got a list as long as your arm of things she's going to donate to our nest. After drying off, most of Saturday afternoon was spent collecting things from the attic and taking beds apart... We were also given a choice of FOUR toasters, apparently Jas buys a new one every six months whether the old one is broken or not.

Dinner with the Doctor

It always makes me laugh when people start a sentence with the work 'fucking'. It gives them chance to actually construct whatever shit it is they've got in their thick heads. The tube this morning was running really slowly 'due to adverse weather conditions'... It's only a bit of snow, I don't think Britain is geared up like Canada where people ski down to the shops to get some fags. Anyway, this bloke got on a packed tube with his timid looking mate and started shouting that he'd just 'fucking seen the trailer for the new fucking fast and furious last night which looks fucking brilliant.' Apparently Vin Docile is back on form. I'm sure the rest of the busy tube now feels the same way and rush out to reserve their tickets.

In other news, not last night, but the night before May went out for a drink and a bite to eat with her ex-boyfriend. She needed to catch up with him being as it's just been announced that he's going to be the next Doctor Who. As a virtually unknown actor, May said it was quite odd as he was getting hounded for autographs in the Hawley Arms. There's quite a buzz about him at the moment as he's going to replace the well-loved Scotsman... Which all sounds quite nice, however he has to live in Cardiff for the duration of the filming! ... Which just goes to show, money isn't everything when you're in love, is it Candice-Marie?... No Keith.

Timeless spheres

We met Helen and her family for her private view at the ICA last night. I tell you what, MA students get away with blue murder!... May's mate Angela had created a load of dresses with period blood all over them and a couple of sporrans moulded from her mate's lower beard. Helen had created some (beautifully crafted) handbags out of pet shop pigs ears. She was moaning about the price of them, apparently they've gone up from 50p to a quid... I ask you. I always like reading the blurb that the artists write about their work, it's always cobbled together shite trying to make sense of whatever it is they've created. It never is the other way around. Some guy had written that he was born into a family of Christians and he was influenced by the film Back to the Future. Helen had written about fleshy drapes and timeless spheres... Anyway, we buggered off afterwards for some food. At first I didn't really want to go as my bank card still hasn't arrived, but I thought fuck it, I had helped Helen putting together her book, so I had the minted mutton... Which was nice.

Snow joke!

It has been so fucking cold over the weekend. Both Laura and Sarah have been away.. Not that I would normally be snuggling up to them for warmth. No no. They'd be the ones to speak to about the boiler packing up. As it happened, May and myself had a lazy weekend and didn't really get out of bed as it was way too chilly!... Sunday it started snowing as I popped over to the BBC to see Whatley and how the Croc Myths were coming along. by the time I'd left it had started to settle a bit, by the time I got back home I was back in bed, enjoying a spot of wind-tunnel with May!.. The Wind-tunnel is a godsend in arctic times! We watched a couple of DVDs and I did some freelance work for Rod the Hip-Hop Sod... By the time we had woken up, the snow had built up making Bethnal Green look like Chamonix.

Britain grinds to a halt during extreme weather conditions and I struggled to get to work, only getting the message not to bother coming in when  I got off the tube at Finchley!.. What a crock!... Oh well, I've got a lot of work to do and at least it's warm at work!

Gramps funeral

So it was Gramps funeral on Thursday... I suppose you could say it went as expected. My dad not thinking of anyone but himself and his wife made it emotional and odd in the same token. A good turn out ensured him a good send off though. It was good to see people I'd not seen for a long time, it just goes to show how respected and thought about he was.

May, myself, Cara and Dom went over to the hospital to visit Grandma after the wake. I was worried that all four of us rocking up dressed in black might alarm her but she took it all in her stride. Even though we didn't mention the funeral, I think she knew. She asked whether we had anything to tell her... I think we were too scared to tell her where we'd come from. Despite this, Grandma was on top form and was making us all laugh with her kooky ways and wild wild hair.

It was a long day traveling to Bournemouth and back in a day, the rudeboys sitting opposite us on the way back didn't help at all, and I felt drained by the time we got back to mine. Heavy day.

Twelve pounds of salad

I forgot to mention the weekend. I love a weekend. Quite quite partial to one. I love waking up without a hangover and actually doing something in the day. It's still a toss-up to whether I prefer big nights out, or cultured Saturdays, so I'm straddling that fence. You could call it the fence of maturity, one day I might topple off and onto the lawn of old age, but at the moment, the view is pretty nice and it's comfortable up here. May and I woke up Saturday morning sans hangover and decided to totter over to Angel for life drawing with Tony Picasso. We arrived late and were hurriedly fisting our Pret sandwiches into our mouths so we could attend class... Somedays you're better than others at drawing, it can depend on the model. This week we had an eighteen year old Taiwanese girl model for us, and I can honestly say she was the best model I've ever drawn. I'm not into Asian babes, but this girl was like a china doll and was able to stay stock still for hours. Miles away from Curvy Michelle and millenia away from that French punk with rotary kebabs for legs, May and I enjoyed her curves and congratulated ourselves on an early afternoon well spent.

After that we ventured out west for a tasty alternate shop from Oxford Street. It was the first time I'd wandered around Whole Foods in Kensington. It's very impressive! May and I got excited about the fine array of foods and spent ages putting various pick and mix salads into a box for our lunch. After we'd done, we went over to weigh our boxes, but decided to leave them both on the side (with all the others) as the scales calculated each box to be just over £12!!... Twelve pounds a salad!!... Fuck that!

'Father' not 'Fazzer'

It's fun at work recently. I think it's because I'm actually doing things I enjoy, it really makes a difference. I've really cut down in drinking in the week as I'm so useless with a hangover, and can't afford to sit at my desk pissing about any more, especially as the department shake-up has left me sitting with my screen exposed for all to see... No matter on Friday though as I wasn't at my desk anyway, I was down the recording studio with Ben and Will 'laying down' the voice over and backing track to the Lacoste animations I'm doing. Ha! I say studio.. we weren't allowed to pull the flush as you'd hear the sounds of the cistern over the mic! Anyway, I was there directing this French guy called Nicola how to say 'father' and not 'fazzer'... every time he'd tell us he'd got it and in recordings he'd revert back to his gallic ways. We'd even got him a couple of cans of Stella to lubricate and loosen, but after half a can he was struggling more than ever, apologising and telling us over the mic that he was 'feeling a leedle beet tipsy'.... We got it finished eventually, it's amazing how a slight intonation and accentuation change can really make a sentence mean something else. Like that guy off 'Allo 'Allo... "Ah was just pissing by..."

Postal packets of odd

I love receiving things through the post, today was a good day. Maybe it's why I'm into buying useless pieces of tat on ebay, just so I can get a parcel or two a week to satisfy my thirst. I knew by text that today would be a good parcel as Kate had informed me yesterday but didn't hint as to what it might be. This morning it landed on my desk and I opened it fervently.

What is it?... You decide. I like the packaging, however a glimpse through the laminate window shows dried seahorses, fungus, goji berries, roots and pupae. The woman on the front looks happy, maybe she's had her brain and tastebuds removed.... I'm told by the best before date that I've got a year in which to consume the contents... I better get cracking.

Making a splash

Well at last they're starting work on the swimming pool, so we can all put our minds to rest!... That's right, we're getting a swimming pool built here at work!.. Whilst people get laid off left right and centre, leaving the building like a ghost town, the remaining employees can remain safe in the knowledge that after a hard day's work they can ease their tired minds with a dip in the Pentland pool. Brilliant. I'm pretty sure it will be the epicentre of bacchanalian decadence with ex-Miss World contestants employed solely to feed you seedless grapes as you unwind after an arduous day hunched over a computer.

Grandma sketch

I've been thinking about Grandma and Grampy a lot recently. Whilst I was over at Kyleigh's at the weekend she showed me a picture of Grandma taken from when the two of them went out Christmas shopping recently. She looks happy in the picture, she looks her usual cheeky and slightly mischievous self... Quite a lot different to how she was looking when we visited her in the hospital over the weekend. The picture Kyleigh took inspired me to create this sketch.

I'm thinking of colouring it up properly soon.

Wherever I lay my hat

Moving house soon has made me think about all the other places I've lived in since moving to London... So since 1994 when I first moved up from Bournemouth, I've lived at 21 different places!!

Mathematically 1.4 residences a year!

Rickmansworth Road, Watford with Mum and Mick

Delancy Street, Camden with Gigi

Cromer Road, Watford with Alison Dickie

Stavanger, Norway with Anne-Charlotte and Gigi

Endell Street, Covent Garden with Emma

Acton Town house with Whatley, Le Chris, Big Dan, and Mat

Finchley Road, Swiss Cottage with Emma, Ciaran and Lou

Glenlock Road, Belsize Park with Kev and Dan

Bayham Street, Camden with Kev and Dan

Travelling around South East Asia with Sara

Winchmore Hill with Sara, her mum and Ayden

Sydenham Hill with Mat and Whatley

Stoke Newington with Sarah

Felsburg Road, Brixton with Simon and Melanie

Homewood Road, Brixton with Mel, Maggie, Kate and Rani

Southampton Row, Kentish Town with Sam

Kilburn Lane, Kensal Rise with Jenny

Caledonian Road, Islington with Tom

Cowper Road, Hanwell with Rowan

Ashburnam Road, Kensal Green with Rowan

Bethnal Green Road, Bethnal Green with Laura and Sarah

and finally, Stoke Newington with May

I intend on staying here for a while. I'm fed up of boxing things up again.

Douglas Pine 1917 - 2009

Yes yes, it's been a very lonngg weekend. Crazy, and a what a mix of emotions. May and I had arranged a viewing of a flat in Stoke Newington on Friday night which turned out to be absolutely ideal for us. We would get it at a reduced rate as the woman who owns it is May's mum's best friend's daughter. Sounds very tenuous, but I assure you it's like that in her boho family. It's a large and very tastefully decorated one bedroom flat with a lovely kitchen and garden accessed through a fauna archway (What are those things called?)... We move in just under four weeks!... Can't wait. We celebrated with a slap-up meal for two at the Three Crowns on Church Street. Which incidentally would be our local. Lovely.

I got woken up early on Saturday morning with the news that Grampy had died at 8:30am... Kyleigh and dad were there to say goodbye, dad actually holding his hand as he peacefully slipped away. He was 91 and wasn't in tremendous pain which is comforting. May and I got ready and caught the train down, met up with Cara and Dom and went off to visit Grandma in Ward 4... She's looking frail. She's all skin and bone and actually looked smaller than she did when we visited her on Tuesday, bless her!... I don't think she knows that Grampy had died. She'd been told, but she's very forgetful and possibly failed to recall the news, so we sat there and watched her eat her calcium tablets, and flick through her Take a Break.

The four of us stayed at Kyleigh and Gerald's that night, Gerald cooking a fantastic belly of pork. We ate like royalty which prepared us for the meeting with dad and Jean on the Sunday... Hmm. Awkward is a term I'd use for that particular meeting, so much to say but nothing being said. At least it will make the funeral a bit more bearable.

Classic Colin

Jonny Herbert turned 33 yesterday and we celebrated in typical Pentland-esque style. With that I mean a pub crawl through Kentish Town to Camden. We never made it to the Proud Galleries, and finally stopped at the Hawley Arms. It was a good turn out actually, Aaron and Colin turned up, as well as Design Poolers young and old. Colin had pretty much just got off the plane from his honeymoon in Thailand. I think he enjoyed himself, he looked pretty lobstered. Telling us that it was really cool, really fresh and really different, he likened Chang Mai to Milton Keynes. Expecting him to bring out a handful of Thai money when dipping in at the bar, he informed us that he'd spent his last baht on a tuk-tuk fridge magnet... I'm going to miss his quotes actually. I managed to get a sixty-four page word document at ten point type out of him before he left.

Here are a few at random. I've not got time to go through the lot and choose my favourites. It would take weeks...

"Howard Jones had got a point.. What IS love anyway?"

"There were some great box shots in the gym today. It looked like she had a ballbag... I know some blokes who would be happy with that n'all."

"I've got no time for bad feet"

"I love foreign food me... Chips in Amsterdam, smothered in mayonnaise"

"What do I hate most in the world?... I dunno, I hate so much it's hard to even start.. Somalians?"

"Oooh sex and typography, two of my most favourite things."

"I saw the Wurzels at Alton Towers once. I didn't see them play, they were just there. Queueing for the Corkscrew."

"You forget though, women have got problems all day long... All day long."

"My mate's very right on. He's a militant... He's got a 'Free Palestine' sticker on his snooker cue case."

"I had a mate who was half black and half Scottish. We used to call him 'Chock'."

... Fucking hell... The list is endless. Colin, you will be missed.

Vintage tickets

I've gone mental. For some reason, I've just spent a small fortune on old London Transport tickets from the 50's. I blame Kurt Schwitters. I've been obsessed with old tickets since I was sixteen and only now have I decided to act upon it. You don't even get old printed sugar paper tickets any more, any tickets you see nowadays are printed by computer and look horrible with their dot matrix type. The lovely worn serif figures do something in me I cannot explain. I don't even think I want to frame them as you won't get to see the backs. Such a shame. All I can do with them at the moment is hold them delicately in my hands like a wounded butterfly and admire the muted dusty colours and badly inked type. The individuals which have been clipped make me think of the bowler hatted businessman holding onto the back of the Routemaster as it dashes through the smoggy streets of old London Town... Like I say. I've gone mental. 

Gramps

I went down to 'sunny' Bournemouth yesterday and met up with my sisters to visit my grandparents in hospital. He's in Ward 4 and she's in Ward 2 of the general. I likened them to E.T. and his flower... When one has a bad day the other one does too. It was shocking to see them in such a crazy state. He's on an oxygen mask and could barely speak. His skin looks slightly yellowed and he's lost loads of weight. Bless him. He's 91 and still as cheeky as hell. If he was more mobile, I'm pretty sure he'd be slapping the nurses arses, but he's hardwired to a gin drip, so it's practically an impossibility. I made each of them a card using a picture from his 91st birthday rave. My nan asked who it was in the photograph, she didn't believe it was Gramps as he 'looked so old'. Kyleigh said that she'd bring in some pictures from the 80's as her memory clearly stopped there... Round about the same time we found the tomato ketchup in the freezer when we were looking for the Vienetta.

So anyway, she's dotty as hell but hilarious with it. Kyleigh and I had to walk off at one point as we had the giggles so badly. She always makes us laugh, there was such a palava about her bloody false teeth, see, she'd lost hers and ended up with two sets which we were having a whole heap of fun with. She eventually gave up and finished her act by munching away on a tangerine with her gums. Bravo... After a quick coffee, I was back on the train to Waterloo. I think they appreciated us visiting them, I wish them the best...

Wonkeis....

I met up with Diddy David Whattler last night. Whenever we meet, we go for a cheeky Won Keis. I was even wearing my tshirt, so I was carried shoulder high and treated like Asian royalty... I had the standard. I'm addicted to the chilli sauce there, so I had to have barbeque pork noodle soup and a side of green vegetables with oyster sauce.

Whenever I eat there, I always think of Gigi and his 'assorted meat' ho-fun... I also remember the nosebleed I had as a result of the chilli sauce heat-off with Ciaran back in the day. Speaking of chillis, Whatley inhaled one and it hit the back of his tongue which resulted in him sweating profusely, dripping down his nose and into the beef and black bean sauce he was spooning into his gob. At  the end of the meal, I tried tipping a pound but he made me realise it's illegal to do so in Wonkeis, so I put my coat on and left.

Two weeks off

Well well well... I can barely remember how to type after all that luscious time off! Two weeks is a long time and definitely enough to forget how to delete a white hue to a different linear light source. (Ask Jonny Herbert!)... So Christmas was good, relaxing and indulgent. TV was off and games were played. After that Boxing day came and went in a haze of charades, white wine and friendly sheep, then it was on to Colin and Emma's wedding. December 27th is a crazy time of year to get married, but for the self-appointed 'Crayzee Col' it was a walk around the barns. Sausages and mash was the order of the day, which seemed to work out well as the girls could manage only two of the three which meant the boys got four sausages. At that time of year, any less would be a diet! ... The following day, we left Welwyn Garden Toytown and headed back to Northampton for some surrogate motherly love. By the time the 31st came around we were so relaxed, I felt like someone had hooked me onto a cheese drip and had been wheeling me around the home for a few days. This all changed with the drive up to Newcastle where we had to fend for ourselves, on our own in a car on the M1... With our navigational skills!? After a diversion around Darlington, we found the Angel of the North where we stayed, along with the other token hetties for a couple of days with the friendly gays and their pug puppy. We ate drank and were merry until we drove the long road back home to toast our toes in front of the open fire once more!... Lovely!... Back to work today though, May starts her new job in town I just hope she wasn't too upset when I dropped her off at the school gates!