Ticker tape tokens

The Christmas party was tough. I made a 'genuinely phenomenal' entrance but I left with my tail between my staggering legs... I was still feeling the effects on Saturday evening to be honest. Our department met at a local pub before and we'd had about four or five pints before we'd arrived at the venue, which got things moving. The venue was a slightly corporate hotel function room, with a dancefloor separating two groups of tables. When we got there we were issued with four drinks tokens. Instantly I thought it would be the driest party I'd ever been to. There was no-one on the dancefloor so to 'get the party started' I handed someone my drink, took a run up and slid the entire length of the floor on my knees. Bravo. The whole place erupted and I naturally hammed it up with a couple of low bows. From then on it was carnage. There might as well had been a ticker tape parade with drinks tokens! When Andy was announcing the winners of the fancy dress, the drumkit was empty so I jumped on and drumrolled each entry as it was being read out. There was even a bit of time for some fresh beats before the drummer from the band gave me some fresh beats for showing him up on his own kit! 

Needless to say it was quite quiet in work on Friday, aside from the groans and moans.

Christmas Party

It's that time again... When everyone else in the land dons their dapper threads, endulges in free booze and makes complete fools of themselves, everyone in our department is getting ready for the Christmas party. I'm sure we'll make the most of it... Obviously I can't speak too loudly on this blog as you never know who might be tuning in! Additionally, Colin has decided to make the Christmas Party night his leaving do, so we've got a whole glut of things to celebrate!... Chiefly that next year I won't be sitting opposite a moaning git! (Ha! Sorry Colin!)

I've found a picture of our department from back at my first Christmas party with them a long four years ago... We went as Mexican wrestlers, I was 'El Bastados' which I had emblazoned across the cape on my back. What a costume, eh? The year after that we went as Beastie Boys and won a bottle of champagne each, which we left at the venue and never saw again. I couldn't make last year, (which was possibly a good thing as things might have worked out differently for me)... and this years theme is 'Prom Night'... Hmm... As I said, I'm sure we'll make the most of it. I've couldn't find my suit last night (who loses a suit!!?) so I've found a jacket, a white shirt and a black tie... I look like a bird who's swallowed a plate.

Pig in blanket

It's all winding down here at work. Yesterday I cleared my desk and emptied my drawers in preparation for the post-Christmas shake-up. It was depressing seeing what I'd had in there, a bit like an archaeological dig, I was unearthing things from years ago I'd long since forgotten about, and realising that I'd been here sat at my desk for a long time. Things you keep, thinking 'I'll use that one day', you soon realise are pieces of worthless junk, fit for nothing but the recycle bin. Anyway, my desk looks like it can breathe again and the Lego Millenium Falcon can now be rehoused at my desk at home! (I'm not getting rid of that!)

We had our work Christmas meal in the canteen this afternoon. Talk about depressing!... Last year we complained en mass as it was so bad, so you'd expect them to up their game a little!... There was a huge mouth-watering display turkey besides where we collected our plated-up lunch. I think it was there to show us what we could have won. All I had on my plate was re-formed turkey roll, a pile of yellow potatoes and some parsnip. Following last years tradition we each got one solitary pig in blanket. Yummy.

We're off out for a department long lunch tomorrow, so I'm hoping the 32 day hung sirloin steak cooked in dripping might taste a little better. I'll let you know... Incidentally did you know that Sirloin was so called as King James the first knighted his dinner.

Another one of those same time tomorrow.

First Christmas

I feel really run down today. I'm not sure whether it's due to excessive Christmas consumption or whether I've caught Kyleigh's cold over the weekend. I just hope it's not the latter because if I'm ill this week, I could infect someone else and they'll be knocked sideways for Christmas and NOBODY likes a sickly child. Anyway, I've stocked up on Echinacea and vitamin C, building barricades in preparation for a pounding.

First Christmas was astounding over the weekend. Really enjoyable. Vintage year! Everything went well, it was brilliant to see everyone, and it meant so much to me that everyone got along so well with May. She did brilliantly entertaining everyone and she slotted right in to the family. We were all introduced to the newest addition of the family, Louise and Mark's baby Owen. I'd met him before but that was Christmas last year... What a difference a year makes, he's a right boon at parties! At 15 months is already dancing and larking about with one of the bigggest grins I'd seen on a young man. Mum did a fantastic job with keeping us fed and watered. The food and drink was top notch, we were still on the bubbly by 5pm which means they must have stocked up! The meal was planned a little earlier this year so we'd have more of the day left to much about, and even though we didn't actually play any family games, we had such a laugh singing, dancing and joking around until we flopped, spent into bed.

Same time next year, then?

Christmas Eve

So it's Christmas Eve for me.. Nice. I'm getting well excited. So excited in fact that I've ordered myself a leather jacket. £90 down from £320, so... You do the math(s).... First ever leather jacket. I said I'd NEVER do it... Never wear a leather jacket, never wear a suit to work and never wear sandals. I'm breaking my own rules of life. I'll be wearing sandals next. What's the world coming to?

Anyway, I'm getting excited about seeing the family and having a good laugh. Kyleigh's got a cold so she might not be so much fun. However I'll tickle her under the chin and ruffle her hair up. (She hates that!)... I've sent May on little shopping trips for Christmas presents all this week as she's not working at the moment. She's been a godsend. She's even marched all the way over to Leytonstone to pick up £20 worth of biltong from the South African shop. She text me whilst she was there and informed me that she was the only white person on the street. I don't think she's used to it. Bless her. I used to live in Brixton, and it's quickly something you get accustomed to. (Is it racist to say that?... I don't think it is. It's an observation and not a slant. For some reason it feels slightly racist to say.)

Anyway, black, white, yellow brown... Let's just put the fists down, have a glass of bibbly and have a fucking good sing along to some Simon and Garfunkel. Bring on the cheer.

The youngest in the crowd

Yesterday I was busy, and slightly tired from a night out at the Hammersmith Apollo where we saw the Steel City Tour. I'd had the tickets for yonks and the day finally arrived for me to see ABC and Human League on the same stage... I mean, I'm not a MASSIVE fan of either of them, but I do like a spot of polished Trevor Horn production and recently have found myself tapping my toes.

I thought ABC were amazing, even though, as Whatley rightly pointed out, Martin Fry looked like a head teacher, and we were the youngest in the crowd... The sound quality was tops and I was able to belt out the lyrics to All of my Heart and Date Stamp with the overweight aging and balding crowd! They went to town with the stage n'all... Everything from the single spotlighted sax player to the logo projected at an angle over the red stage curtain. So 80's it hurt.

Human League weren't bad either, but I'd seen them before. However, it was good to sing along to Electric Dreams. The light show was astounding, flicking through every world leader whilst they played Being Boiled... Funny how they have no problem showing those images when we can't even get a picture of Boris Becker signed off!

Kicked to Camden

Urgh! I honestly feel like I've been kicked from Kentish Town to Camden. Last night was a send off for Aaron and Colin. Everyone was out and proud, wearing their shineyest of shiney blue patent leather shoes. Big Rich had made everyone a booze counter so we could tot up how many we'd had in each pub... It's actually interesting doing that as normally you'd not really count how many, but the reality is quite shocking. It turned out that including shots, I'd had fifteen drinks last night... And that's MORE than the weekly unitary. The not so funny thing is that I've got it all again tonight with The Henson's Lot™! (Although I've decided that I'm going to do the decent thing and 'French Leave'... I've not seen May as she's been up in the Shires for the last two weeks, so we've got some catching up to do!)
Christmas does that; everyone wants a slice of you, you end up spreading yourself and your bank balance very thin. Still... Needs must.